i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
