Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
