nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
