i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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