Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My ass is underappreciated
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Someone signed my nipple.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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