if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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