We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
