Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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