I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
