Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
