A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
babies were throwing up all over the place
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
