whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
