He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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