Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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