Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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