I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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