i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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