Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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