do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
