Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
