great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
