You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am naked and annoyed.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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