his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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