new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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