my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
