It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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