im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
