I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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