I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
These tits shall not be calmed
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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