I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
