you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
