you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
