We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
