how can u be prego again
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
