He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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