I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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