When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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