...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize