dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my being single is dangerous.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
