So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
