Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Someone came in the potted fern
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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