I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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