its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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