just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
