he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
