Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
