it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
