Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
