I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
