I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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